wishing you joyful at everyday. . .
There are Mormons here trying to convert the heathen Buddhists and Daoists. They offer free English classes to suck people in (which I think is insidious.) They also bike around in white button ups and black pants, and are the only people on bikes in Taipei who wear helmets. The first time I saw them, I was like, hey! some people who actually wear helmets! Look at that! My friend just looked over and sniffed and said, hmph. Mormons. (which I think is funny.)
Another topic entirely: I had one of my writing classes write stories in groups. One kid would started, and the rest continued, each adding one sentence. Most were boring, but one was pretty good.
I started them off with "One day, a little boy in a blue coat got lost on his way to the store."
"Then he met a cow. He was so upset that he punched the stupid cow. Then the cow died. He kept walking on the steet, trying to find the store. but he went a different way. Then he met a beautiful girl, who wore a pink dress. which had a cow on it. He was shocked!
That was the cow he just killed!Then he met the cow's soul. He was so afraid that the cow would kill him back. Then the cow killed him! He went to heaven, and the king of heaven was not Jesus. . . it was Jesus Cow!
Jesus Cow was really angry because he had killed 2 cows, so Jesus Cow dropped him into Hell. He went to Hell, but he didn't meet Satan. He met Satan Cow!
Then Satan Cow said "I don't want you here cow-killer!" and sent him back to earth AS A COW! He saw his reflection in a lake and he fell in love with his cow appearance, then committed suicide like Narcissus did.
And then he went to hell once again. But the cow who was a boy at the beginning, his mom was looking for him on the earth. AS A COW!!!!"
Very "Twilight Zone."
Some other gems from various essays: (keep in mind, these essays are handwritten, so these are not typos.)
Most people feel that rich people are wealthy because they have a lot of money. (Yes, I suppose that is true.)
That was a big miskle. (mistake)
If you dont get enough sleep, you get black circles under your eyes. Black eyes are a killer, because black eyes are like panda eyes and you look wan and sallow.
Zygpt
Bill Gazes owns Microsoft.
In addiction, (In addition)
I have a soultion.
My favorite color is oink.
Hoping you can have your cherry pick!
Let attention pay on him. (I really like this misuse of the idiom.)
2 moths of vacation.
Then my mom asked, "Why are you sitting on that rabbit?"
Choices are for people to make. (Mmmm. How true.)
It was humilitory!
Sometimes my brother picks his nose. He has many bad hobbits.
(Reporting on a story in the news-) Impulsively, he poisoned her and tied her hands and feet and stabbed her 21 times in the stomach! (Great use of the word "impulsive")
When encountering a problem, people often blame someone or something else, such as the person who knocked over your drink, or fate.
Those were my favorites. Really, any one of these kids can speak at least 2 languages, if they are in my writing class, so this doesn't reflect on their abilities. I just liked these mistakes particularly.
The best slogan that I was able to find was "Sports Pig: Get Fresh!!"
The body wash that I bought said this to me each night when I took a shower:
Hot Spring Mud Bath Liquid
In such a crowed and nervous city, I refuse to be the same, in my own way, with my own style, I want to be myself, as free as a fish, walking along the city, free my own pace, as I wish.
I don't even notice a lot of the funny english anymore, but that still makes me so happy.
more to come i promise

333 Comments:
Sports Pig, Get Fresh? What's that supposed to mean?
- Melinda R.
Wow... thank god Ken taught me how to post a comment 2 MONTHS AGO.... or else how would i be able to pull this off?!?! Thank god i saved the email as a handy refernce guide so that i can still pull this off, despite having been TERRIBLE at things like emailing and blog-reading and comment-posting of late.... I just wanted you to know that I am still alive and reading though: In some ways saving up a lot of the blog and reading it all at once is kind of nice... like a big Evelyn binge!!! You havent written in a while though it looks like (like i shuld talk, right?) so IM wondering.. are you still there? Are you still alive???
Niki!
yeah, i got really busy and didnt put anything out there for a while. i will try to be better for the rest of my trip. i still have a lot of stuff to catch up on from taipei. i havent even started anything about thailand. i am traveling around for a few weeks before heading back to the states. mostly thailand, i think.
Me like "Sports Pig, Get Fresh"
Slop Hog, Not Fresh, Not Fun Sometimes.
It would look good on a ball cap maybe with sports pig on front, get fresh on back.
The boy and his cow bad could be an animated series.
p.
I just read the cow story again. Truly amazing! I'm looking at cows a little differently these days. Better than just Twilight Zone material.
The more I think about it, the more "oink" does seem like a color. I just never knew the right word before.
I'm pretty sure my own mother has asked me why I was sitting on a rabbit at least once in my life.
I really like this creative use of english. I can see the mind and the intent behind each phrase, but the results are a "one hand clapping" sort of feeling. It makes me feel happy too.
p.
While teaching "Romeo and Juliet" I did have a student write about Lord Copulate. I am sure your students write better than some of mine. No, this student was not trying to be funny. Jane
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