more from when i was in taiwan

Sorry no blogs for so long. I was working like a banshee for a while there and just didn't have any extra time. (Incidentally, I should say that I don't really know whether banshees work really hard or not. I just know that they are really intense and whatever they do, they do it 100%. So I worked like a banchee.)

Kenneth is blogging about our trip too. He is writing a lot. I am still catching up with old stuff, but he has written about his impressions of Taiwan and Bangkok, where we are now. If you want to read his blog, it is at http://kennethonaplane.blogspot.com/

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There is a really cool woman who works at the office where I was teaching who told me about how her mom used to get a crab and a lobster (or a crab and a crab- 2 crustaceans, basically) and she would let them fight, and she would eat the loser first. Survival of the fittest, for a day at least. (And yes, for all you Darwinists out there, I know that surviving that extra day did not help the winner create more offspring. But whatever.)

This same woman also had a really interesting perspective on how to deal with a problem that another teacher was having with her landlord. The landlord had been kind of a shyster about my co-teacher's lease and about declaring his income on her rent, which created some problems for her. As she tried to resolve those problems she would agree to a certain course of action with her landlord, and then he would renege. Again and again. He would tell her his wife (who "couldn't" speak English) wanted to change something, or could they do it just slightly differently, or he just wouldn't show up to meet with her. The problem became this: she was leaving in a month and her landlord had a big pile of her $ as a security deposit and she wasn't sure how she was going to get it back. Her plan was to act according to the most recent arrangements that she had made with her landlord and if he screwed her again (which she was sure he would do) she would just have to have someone sue him for her after she left. I suggested that she simply cease all relations with him and have a lawyer do all the talking from now on. (She had a lawyer friend who could do this.) So our approach was to play hardball. The woman from the office suggested hitting him hard Taiwanese style. Here's what she said to do: Buy him a big cake and a big plant to thank him for being such a wonderful landlord, then when he came over to check over the apt as she was leaving, she should have a few friends there, one who was older, and one who was a business person. Then ask if he liked the cake and plant and make a big deal out of what a great experience it was for her to have him as a landlord. THEN ask for her security deposit back. Because after all that, and in front of a small audience, it would be way too embarrassing to give her a hard time. He would totally have to give her her $. He would lose too much face otherwise. I am not sure that the other teacher did all that, but I love that way of dealing with a problem. So Machiavellian, but also so nice. Also, probably as effective in a lot of ways.

A big thing that happens here is presents. People give lots of presents. There is a big gifting culture here. This is similar to many other places in the world, but I feel like here you have to trick people into letting you give them presents sometimes. For instance, my roommate wanted to get a relative some golf clubs as a going away present, but she couldn't because she didn't know what size or type of clubs he needed. And she couldn't just ask his wife, because the wife wouldn't tell her, because she didn't want my friend to go to the trouble of getting them a gift. So my roommate either has to sneak into his house and try to figure out from the golf clubs in the basement what size to get him, or she has to get him something he won't like as much. From the other perspective, she went down with them to the bottom of the island for vacation. She wanted to fly home to Taipei (much quicker than taking the bus, and not too expensive), but she knew they would insist on paying for her flight, so she took the bus. It's crazy. I am not sure why this phenomenon exists- people insist on giving gifts, but then you have to try to outwit people into not giving you gifts. I think the gift giving comes from a strong sense of hospitality, and then you have to refuse gifts for some of the same reasons. You have to out-nice each other

Another symptom if this is that you have to play "wallet" when you go out with people. People here are very generous. It is ok if you go to a bar and everyone knows what they owe- everyone is usually fine kicking in what they need to and letting everyone else do the same. However, if you want to help pay for the cab ride home, you have to be extremely quick with your wallet, otherwise you never get to help pay (and that is bad, of course). People here are quick, too, with paying for stuff. I've even had my wallet out and at the ready and been badly beaten. Also, some people are tricky. We went out to lunch the other day and while we were finishing our food, one girl surreptitiously asked for the bill and quickly and quietly got up to pay it. But then someone else at the table spotted her sneaking off, and ran for the bill too. There was then a short wrestling match to determine who got to pay the bill. You have to be wily in the game of wallet.

Speaking of battles, there was an 2 meter (that's 6.5616798 feet) cockroach terrorizing our kitchen the other day. He was on the sink, then he scuttled behind the shelf, then under the fridge. (we have a very tall fridge) He was super fast-lightening speed. Those things can really move. He was totally scary.

Since cockroach poison is so horrible and bad to spray near your food (this happened in the kitchen) instead of spraying the beast with poison, it was suggested that we kill it with really hot water. I got some from the tap, (bathroom) and my roommate bravely flushed the cockroach out and tried to douse him.

In case you are wondering about this method and are considering employing it in your next cockroach encounter, let me tell you: don't. Apparently, this just makes them mad. He angrily scuttled towards us then back and then around again. Then he drew a sword and slapped my roommate with his glove. She is a woman of honor, and so she accepted the challenge, but chose to duel with her axe. There was a mighty battle. After many hours of struggle, finally my roommate won. We dragged the corpse to the side of the road and went to 7-11 for some crappy beer and candy.

Seriously though, the cockroach was so big. Ugh.

Speaking of axes, my roommate really does have one. Many of the windows in Taiwan are covering with metal bars to keep out thieves and kidnappers (and also because it is cosy). In her first apartment, she realized that if there was a fire, those metal bars would not be conducive to escape. So she got an axe. She may not have been able to get out in time, but she would die trying. I was very impressed by the axe, because that is way hardcore.

Also, have I ever mentioned the cockroach that came into my hostel room the first week I was in Taipei? It was literally as big as a cell phone. And it could fly. It started darting around my room one evening, and I screamed like a housewife with a mouse in an early 50's sitcom and ran into the hallway, but there was no one to help me. I kept opening the door to my room and the cockroach kept bouncing off the walls at me. It would sly and smack into the wall. Than fly, and smack into the wall. Then it would fly towards me, and I would slam the door. Eventually, I turned off the light in my room and turned on the light in the hall, and it left my room and flew out a window. So it ended up being relatively painless. That thing was huge though. I mean it- a cell phone. Everyone take out your cell phone right now, and imagine that it has wings and is flying at you. How do you feel? Not scared enough, I can tell you that. I sat in the middle of my bed curled up in a ball and twitched for an hour.

Now cockroaches don't scare me as much. They freak me out if they come at me on the sidewalk, but mostly I just ignore them now.